And today's winner is...

From: [UNDISCLOSED NAME] RESUME!.docx

THIS:

VOLUNTEER WORK                        Select text you would like to replace, and type your information.

AND THIS:

I have great customer service skills, I am very friendly and a team player. I possess great people skills, because great customer service because it is all about the $100 dollar experience.

PRO TIP #4

Recruiters love it when you use a giant, strange font for your name on your resume.  It looks professional.

PROTIP # 3

When corresponding in reference to a position, an email signature of "Babygirl" is not recommended.

But only if I have to...

This sentence stood out from an otherwise normal cover letter:

"I am a dedicated professional capable of working with various ethnic groups."

I'm not sure about everyone else though...

First line of a cover letter. The truth is, I actually liked this.

 "I am not a Troglodyte. I am, in fact, a highly functioning member of society..."

Keyword bingo!

The first sentence in the first paragraph of a 4 page cover letter, which had a head shot of the candidate directly to the left of said text.

 "Divinely appointed to bring an immeasurable vision to reality derived the implementation of a rewarding women’s empowerment movement..."

PRO TIP #2

If you have only worked a position for 6 months it is probably not a great idea to fill up a page and a half regarding that position.