PRO TIP # 6

When you receive a call about your resume, which you completely forgot you sent 10 minutes earlier (because, presumably, you have Momento style amnesia) the best thing to do is to act as rude as possible, and then hang up.

Sure fire way to launch a career.

Pro Tip # 5:

It is never a good idea to fully read a job posting, or ever accurately answer the question: "Which position are you applying for?"

It is highly advisable to instead mention what position you imagine would be your favorite job.

Regardless of what the company is actually looking for, you are likely to get your perfect job just by mentioning it.

The perfect objective.

Presented in the original format:

"Objective: I plan too find an suitable place
of work where I can utilize my clerical/administrative skills along with
exceptional customer service. Also too
gainmore knowledge about other
computer systemsand internet sites. I
hope to bring stability an a greatness of
dedication, possessing as thee ideal
candidate worker servicing patrons with
the most compassion respect , and dignity
the company could offer ."

How to get noticed

In lieu of a cover letter or resume, just go with something like this:

"Hey am rony am Intrested in the job am. 20yrs old give me a cal"

An issue of Tense...

"I will am applying for the opportunity as a [position title withheld]"

There are no dumb questions...

So I always tell candidates to let me know if they have any questions.  Generally these questions make sense.

This questions is a first.

"I just have one question. What room is the interview in ?*"

I just... what?  Why is this question?

It is also worth noting that my email signature is complete with our office's address and suite number.

And today's winner is...

From: [UNDISCLOSED NAME] RESUME!.docx

THIS:

VOLUNTEER WORK                        Select text you would like to replace, and type your information.

AND THIS:

I have great customer service skills, I am very friendly and a team player. I possess great people skills, because great customer service because it is all about the $100 dollar experience.

PRO TIP #4

Recruiters love it when you use a giant, strange font for your name on your resume.  It looks professional.